I've thought those exact words a few times in my life. As soon as I think them, it's like they break a spell, because I can, suddenly, envision a time when the way I'm feeling won't make any sense to me anymore. It just won't be part of my reality. In fact, thinking these words is often in reaction to something new in
my life, and by now I know to take them as a sort of warning. I might even reflect on how foolish I was once upon a time. Whether it's how I feel about someone,* or something I strongly believe in,** or just how I feel in general, eventually it does swing back around the other way. I mean, I do have principles, and stick to many of them, but I'm open to new information and admitting when I'm wrong. I've also been either blessed or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with the ability to simultaneously see two sides to every story, making it easy to empathize but hard to make a decision. If I were in politics, I'd be labeled a flip-flopper from day one. Similarly, my friendships are like a retirement plan - they have their ups and downs but overall I expect we'll come out ahead at the end. In Judaism there is a teaching that we should keep two (metaphorical) pieces of paper in our pockets. In one pocket should read "The earth was made for me," for times when we need a little boost, and in the other pocket should read "I am dust and ashes," for when we are getting too cocky and need a dose of humility. Understanding, not avoiding, these changes are what life is about and balance between the extremes is the point.
*This post was partly inspired by a trilogy of books by Catherine Gilbert Murdock about a teenage girl. There is much discussion of relationships, which resonated particularly strongly with me.
**It was also partly inspired by The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs, which I am finally reading at my friend Beth's nudging. It reminds me of my various experiments following different religious and spiritual practices over the years, and how I'm still learning and changing.
How are you enjoying crazy AJ's biblical year?
ReplyDeleteIt's good! I'm taking a bit of a hiatus to read something else, but I'm almost done with that and then AJ will take center stage again :) Thanks again for the recommendation!
ReplyDeleteInteresting post on change and perception. Just read it today (Ash Wednesday) so the "paper in the other pocket" made me smile. Usually I am an advocate for balance, but this morning I was thinking about going in another direction. Over the next 40 days I am going to be thinking about the things that keep me from a "fearless love" of God. When/if some are revealed, I am going to try to let them go. Is that fearless love the furthest thing from balance? Or is that true balance? Time might tell.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Harry! I'm glad you liked the little nugget of Judaism, I thought you might :) What kinds of things keep you from a fearless love of God? How is it going so far, not quite a week in? Also, have you read The Year of Living Biblically? Might be good for your class, you could read them snippets, or just assign the whole thing!
ReplyDeleteGreat suggestion. I am going to have our library pick up a copy this afternoon. It's a deep question you are asking. Because I think God is equally present in all that "distracts/detracts" us. In other words, God doesn't love me any more/less in any circumstance. However, my own alignment is another story. A great deal of it for me boils down to an awareness or "attention to the present." Am I willing/able to be intentional about my relationship with God in each moment? Not graced enough to have much success there - but definitely trying - and God loves me on #11 regardless :) In terms of charting progress...getting there.
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